FAITH

Back in the fall, Keith Moore did a series called "Fighting the Good Faith Fight." I started listening to it, and it was AWESOME. Inevitably, I would get distracted and get behind on it. It was a growing series that eventually made it up to 18 messages, I believe. Well, I finally finished the series last month. It was so great! He spent one message on each piece of the armor of God. He explained things in a way I have never heard before. There were things I never really understood, but I do now after listening to the messages. I highly recommend them!

He also does a Greater Faith Conference every year. (Last year, he talked about Abraham. The messages were so great and really encouraged me.) While on their website, I saw they had this year's conference up. I just finished listening to the first message. He started out saying not to think, "Oh, I know this. I've already heard this." He challenged every one to really listen and to realize that there is ALWAYS something new you can learn. And all I can say is....WHOA.

He said satan wants to try and keep us out of the realm of faith and in the realm of reasoning. He read Hebrews....where "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things NOT SEEN." He said, "Why are you upset because it hasn't happened yet?" Why are we upset when we don't see the healing? Or see the money? He said, "When you're in faith, it is normal for it to be unseen."

!!! It sounds so elementary, so simple. But it is so profound. I've heard that scripture 50 million times, but never made that connection. Essentially, people assume "it didn't work" because what they see hasn't changed. But that's not true. Keith Moore said, "Why are you so defeated because of what you don't see? The way you win is by not being moved by what you see."

I'm getting so excited about the things I am learning. I pray I will be able to apply them. I want to please God, and the way to do that is TO LIVE BY FAITH. I want His best. I want His word to be so big in me that there is no room for anything else. I've come to realize, I have a hard time letting go and giving things to God, because I realize there are some people (that I really care about) who probably won't understand and that I could possibly lose in the process of seeking Him more. But I am also realizing that He is worth more than anyone or anything else in this world. He is the only reason I have made it this far and I KNOW He has good things for me. If people can't support me in my desire to know Him more, than I have to believe that God will bring NEW people into my life who will support me and help me. It's hard to let go of things sometimes, but knowing that what He has for me is FAR GREATER than anything I leave behind makes all the difference. 

My Musings for Today

This is (hopefully) going to be short and sweet.

I was thinking about some things that I have gone through over the course of my life. Things that happened years ago. Things that happened a couple months ago.

I was thinking mainly (of course) about the "biggest," most recent struggle I have had. I hate that it still takes up most of my thoughts. I hate I still haven't completely let it go, even though I want to and long to. Let's face it, I'm tired of spending another day with the same thing hanging over my head. It's ridiculous. It is also a waste of time and energy and it is a bad distraction.

So, I basically beat myself up some days because I feel like I am not making any progress. I feel like a turtle stampeding through peanut butter. But I realized, years ago, when something would happen, it would send me into a downward spiral. I would begin to question why I was even here. "God, why didn't you let me die? Why did you save me...just so I could live and go through hell all over again?" It was wrong, but it was the struggle I faced. Now, I no longer question God. I wonder why I am still thinking about or (sometimes) obsessing over something that happened months ago. But instead of being sad and down, I am still happy and hopeful. So I realize, I HAVE made progess. I HAVE grown. No, I'm not where I want to be, but at least I'm not where I was!!! And no one can get credit for that but GOD!

Adventures with Lisa

So I had a couple of adventures lately. I meant to blog about them earlier, but this week was very busy and I didn't have time to do it until now. 

Adventure #1: Last week Wednesday, I was leaving work and headed to the post office, which is my usual routine. I turned onto Murphy Mill and was just driving along. I had 50 million different things flying through my head that I was thinking about. One of those things was NOT how fast I was going. So, of course there was a police officer clocking people, watching for speeders. He pulled me over. It was ridiculously hot, and I was having to wait for awhile. Long story short, he told me he clocked me going 49 in a 35. Whoops! I don't ,drive that much over the speed limit, so when he told me that, I knew he was going to give me a ticket. He took my license and went back to his car. When he came back, he asked me if I have ever gotten a ticket before. I told him I had not. He told me he didn't think so, and that he didn't want to be the one to break my streak. He let me go with a written warning. He also thanked me for not arguing with him. (I never understand people who are brash enough to argue with an officer. Really? Are you TRYING to get yourself thrown in jail???) Needless to say, I was incredibly grateful. I knew it was the favor of God. And it was a real life example of how God is...that even when I sin and deserve punishment, He is gracious and merciful and does not give me what I deserve. I was REALLY happy because my sister and I had plans to go to Montgomery that Friday, and had I gotten a ticket, shopping would have not been an option for me! And shopping was so much fun! Found good sales and got a couple items I really wanted.

Adventure #2: On the way back from Montgomery, there were 5 or 6 dump trucks traveling down the highway. My sister was driving and in the process of passing the trucks. Gravel was flying out of them and showering the windshield, which I (obviously) did not like. With good reason. A larger (though still small) stone flew out from underneath the door (don't know what they technically call it) on the back of the truck and proceeded to crack my windshield. Not chip. Crack. Thankfully it wasn't a huge crack. It was just over 1/2 an inch. But still. I was NOT happy. I finally called up my insurance company and got hooked up with Safelite who came to the house today to repair the damage. It doesn't look as bad to me, though you can still see it, of course. Plus the guy cleaned the outside of my windows AND vacuumed my floorboards! That was awesome. And I didn't have to pay a cent. 

So those are my recent adventures. If life stays this "exciting," I think I have found a new name for my blog!

IT'S FALL, Y'ALL!!!!

Okay, so not really. For one, it is too hot. However, this IS Alabama, so it's almost always hot. I'm sure it FEELS like fall SOMEWHERE in the United States right now!

I probably say this every year, but I can't help myself...

I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!!!

This time of year, I feel like I come alive. I get this sense of anticipation and excitement. I'm ready for cool nights (AND DAYS!!!). I'm ready for sweaters, scarves, and boots. I'm ready for pumpkin spice lattes and holidays. I'm ready for some FOOTBALL!!!

Friday, I went to the park to walk. It was my first time going out there in over a month, so it was long overdue. It wasn't bad when I got there, but by the time I was halfway through the trail, it was ridiculous! The heat was awful. But there was something about the way the sun was shining that morning as I drove to the park. It felt like I was waking up and I suddenly felt very excited and I burst out, "IT'S FALL, Y'ALL," even though I was alone in my car and no one could hear me. The sun seems to shine differently in the fall. I can't explain it. But it makes me happy. In those moments, it doesn't matter what is going on in my life, I know everything is going to be okay.

I Saw the Light

Have you ever thought you wanted something? Well, let me rephrase that...have you ever REALLY wanted something? Then things happen and you don't get it and you are left hurting and wondering WHY, GOD, WHY??? For me, it seems like most of the time I never get an answer. I'm left hurting and wondering because there was never an explanation given. (Obviously, the last sentence refers to situations that involve other people). I have learned a lot about myself recently. I hate unresolved issues. However, I hate conflict and confrontation. Do you see my problem here? I am STILL, after 30 years, learning to move on and let things go, usually with no answer as to why. (More or less my own fault, too.)

I re-listened to an older message of Keith Moore's titled "Trust Him." In it, he started talking about people asking "why." He said the why isn't the issue. "The issue is what you do when you don't know why. That's when your heart is proven. That's when your faith, or lack thereof, is proven." That was something I definitely needed to hear again! I believe I have moved on. Yes, I still deal with feelings and lingering thoughts. But I can't be governed by that. I have to cast down those feelings and thoughts and not give place to them. I have to trust God, even though something doesn't make sense to me and I don't understand it. I don't have to understand everything. True faith trusts God no matter what things look like on the outside.

So, I have to move forward, cast down thoughts and feelings (sometimes almost constantly, all day long). I can honestly say, by God's grace, I am doing that quite successfully. It's amazing how free I feel since I let go of things. I felt challenged the other day...like God was asking me, "Do you really trust Me? Do you really believe that My plans for you are for good and not evil? To give you hope and a future? You speak that daily, but do you really believe it?" What am I going to say to that??? "No, God, I'm not sure I can trust You." How can I say that to Him? To the One who has NEVER failed me or left me or let me down. The ONLY one. My only option was to prove to Him I trust Him, by laying those things down once and for all.

Usually, asking why is never a good idea. But sometimes, when you least expect it...when you have moved on and let something go, you can be surprised with an answer. This happened to me. I got an answer. Not necessarily an answer that was easy to hear, but an answer nonetheless. But you know what? The answer opened my eyes. It proved what I have been telling myself for some time now. I recognize that I'm better off without something I wanted. I see things and recognize it wasn't good for me. God knew that all along. By God's grace, I was spared. Had I asked God to being with, I would have been spared even more. But as it is, I've been hearing so much about being led by the Spirit IN EVERYTHING. My heart desires that. My heart longs for God to be so big in me, that nothing moves me, nothing phases me. I know what I wanted was not God's best for me. It was a distraction. It wasted my time. But God is merciful. And even though I did what I wanted, God still protected me and brought me through it.

I don't mean to sound like a broken record...

There are so many thoughts floating around in my head. I know God has great things in store for me, things for me to walk in even right now. But it is definitely a battle to get in position for those things to come to pass in my life. It’s no surprise, because the Bible says “labor to enter into rest” and “fight the good fight of faith.” That means it is going to take work! It is going to take diligence. I find myself feeling weary and tired of fighting, but each and every day I remind myself of the things God has promised me. I know things are difficult right now because satan doesn’t want me to have the things God has for me. He doesn’t want me walking in those things. As weary as I feel at times, I won’t give up. I won’t quit. I know that the promises of God are on the other side of everything I am dealing with right now.

I am faced with my flesh, my emotions, my feelings, each and every day. And, multiple times a day, I have to say to myself that “NONE OF THESE THINGS MOVE ME.” (I know that is not what that scripture is technically referring to, but it fits.) I know what God said. My head may not understand, but it doesn’t have to. It will find out eventually. I don’t have to understand how or why, I simply have to BELIEVE.

I listened to Keith Moore’s series “Spirit Led” again. I need to play that over and over and over! It’s like everything he said in those messages is specifically for me. (I highly recommend them. Great stuff!) I realized, as I have so many times over the years, if I had simply listened to my Spirit, I would have been saved so many heartaches. Even now, the things I am dealing with, I see all the mistakes I made in situations and have so many regrets. “If I had just done this, or not done that, maybe things would be different.” I get angry at other people for what they did, but then I look back at myself and see all the things I did (or didn’t do). Then I feel like I have no right to be angry, and it is my fault.

I don’t remember if it was yesterday or today, but I know at one point, my mind was going back to a specific “issue” (as it so often has of late), and it hit me, “I have to forgive myself.” I realized I have not yet forgiven myself for the mistakes I made recently. But I have to forgive myself and LET IT GO. If I don’t, I will never be able to move forward. Whether or not someone else chooses to forgive me and move past something I did wrong is not my concern. If I know I messed up, all I can do is repent. So I’m hanging in there…keeping His Word before my face…reminding myself of His promises…saying what the Word says. I know that there are only good things ahead for me!

I spent the day with Keith Moore and it was AWESOME!

So there are some things I have written over the past month or so that I considered posting, but I'm not sure I should at this point. Yesterday was a rather quiet work day, so I thought about writing something, but I had no idea what to write about. Anyway, I ended up listening to quite a few messages online and I wrote this afterwards:

So today was a very quiet day at work. To remedy that, I went online and listened to two messages from earlier this year. I also listened to the word Joe Morris spoke to me as well as when he prayed over the staff during the 20^th anniversary meetings a couple years ago. Some things were brought to my remembrance and I got stirred up! I was so excited, and the things I listened to really encouraged me.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Keith Moore is one of my favorite ministers. I was sitting at my desk thinking about what I was going to listen to next. Then I thought, “Well, I haven’t listened to any of Keith Moore’s messages in a while, so I think I will go over to his website and see what I can find.” One of the very first series listed was “Spirit Led.” I thought that sounded like a good place to start, so I clicked on it.

Oh. My. Gosh.

It was 3 services from a meeting he did in Minnesota back in February. And it was EVERYTHING I needed to hear. It was so awesome! I realized, I was led by the Spirit to listen to teaching about being led by the Spirit! HA! How great is that? I listened to all 3 services and had church all by myself! There were so many things that ministered to me. I received correction, encouragement, and instruction. There is no way I can type all the things that I got out of those messages, but I will definitely be listening to them again!

God is really knocking my socks off these days and I LOVE IT!!!

I am telling you, those messages were awesome! There were so many things he said, and points he made. I want to write about them, but words fail me when I try to figure out where to begin. There were things he said that I have heard before, but they were presented in a way that was new to me. 

I know God is up to something. He's doing something in my life. Outside, things may look the same, but I'm not moved by that. I know change starts on the inside, and something's gotta give. God's Word is TRUTH and that is what I'm standing on. I don't care what others think about me or what they do or what they don't do, because my life is founded on HIM, and that is not going to change! Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I have messed things up in my life. But that is in the past. God has been working on me and I realized the other day, I no longer feel shame or condemnation over the things I have done. I'm still not proud of those things, but they have no hold on me anymore. God set me free from all that. It took awhile, but God is gracious and merciful. He still loves me and wants to "lead me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."