My First Blog

This has been a crazy year of ups and downs for me.  So many things have changed.  So many things that I've had to face and deal with that were totally unexpected.  And I still have a month left!  EEK! 
But with all the twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad, etc., etc...God has been the one constant.  I was blindsided by a lot of things this year.  I've faced a lot of challenges and almost caved.  But God.  Throughout my life, and this year is no exception!, God has continued to be there for me.  He has had faith in me when I haven't had faith in myself....and not that I really have faith in myself....it would be more accurate to say when I haven't had faith in the ability of God inside of me....because it's not supposed to be by my might or power anyway.  So many times I have wanted to give up.  So many times I have wondered if it was even worth it.  I've made so many mistakes and they just seem to keep coming back.

God has blessed me immensely!  I'm so thankful to have friends who see things in me that I can't see in myself!  Friends who encourage me and want to see me succeed.  Friends who care enough about me to tell me the truth, whether it's pleasant or not.  However, I realize I can't base my self-worth on anyone else's view or opinion of me.  While it's good to have people who believe in me, and see things in me I may not see, I can't live by that.  My self-worth cannot be based on other people's views or opinions.  I need a firm foundation to base my life on.  Therefore, I have to live, first and foremost, by seeing myself the way GOD sees me.  I have to first believe that I'm worth the price God paid for me.  If I don't believe that, any human relationship is doomed for failure.  I can't find my self worth in someone else.  I have to find it in Him. 

God's love is one of my favorite topics...probably because I still struggle with receiving that love.  I know the things I've done, mistakes I've made, so how could God possibly still love me?  I read something once somewhere...and now I can't remember where I got it, so this is plagiarizing....but if I ever find out where it came from, I'll give credit where credit is due...

"There is a tremendous relief in knowing that His love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery can now disillusion Him about me, in the way I am so often disillusioned about myself, and quench His determination to bless me.  There is certainly great cause for humility in the thought that He sees all the twisted things about me that my fellowmen do not see...and that He sees more corruption in me than that which I see in myself....He wants me as His friend, and desires to be my friend, and has given His Son to die for me in order to realize this purpose."

Now, I realize God sees me through the blood of Jesus.  He sees me as worthy and a king and priest, etc., etc.  But when I realize He knows EVERY thought I've ever had.  He knows EVERYTHING that has been in my heart...every motive...He knows it ALL.  Yet He STILL wants me to know Him and He STILL wants me to have a deeper relationship with Him.  THAT is truly amazing!  How many times have I heard something about someone and thought that I didn't want to be their friend?  "I can't believe they did that!"  Yet, I'm no better than they are.  I'm even worse than they are because of the fact I think I'm better!  That is a lesson I'm learning...hopefully I'm a lot further along in it!  (I like to think I've learned something about not judging others...)  But God knows more about me than anyone else, and He STILL sent His Son to die so He could have a relationship with me PERSONALLY!  There is no greater love than that...

And when faced with that love, how can I resist?  How can I NOT give my heart to the One who gave so much for someone like me? 

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for that love.  I'm thankful for a God who loves me unconditionally and has never given up on me.  And I'm thankful for the friends He has placed in my life to help me along the way!